Are We Sending Mixed Messages to Our Board?

Your board knows fundraising matters. They know the organization needs resources.

They may even agree that fundraising is part of their role. Yet many boards still hesitate to participate.

What if the issue isn't a lack of commitment?

What if we're sending mixed messages?

We tell board members that fundraising is about relationships. We say it's about building community, sharing impact, expressing gratitude, and connecting people to a cause they care about. Then we walk into board meetings and talk almost exclusively about money.

Revenue goals. Budget shortfalls. Campaign totals. Event income.

The message may be unintentional, but it becomes clear that fundraising equals money.

And if fundraising equals money, it's no wonder many board members pull back. The majority are not comfortable asking for money. They’d rather cross the desert barefoot. Research consistently shows that people are more motivated by connection, purpose, and impact than by numbers alone. Yet when it comes to board fundraising discussions, relationships often get pushed to the sidelines. If we want boards to embrace fundraising, we need to model what fundraising actually looks like. Are you modeling that behavior for your board?

At your board meetings, do you share stories about the thank-you calls you've made? Do you talk about the donor who was thrilled to receive a handwritten note? Do you tell the board about the conversation you had with a longtime supporter who shared why they continue to give year after year? When a gift arrives, do you talk only about the amount?Or do you talk about the person behind the gift?

Instead of saying:

"We received a $5,000 donation."

Try saying:

"We received a $5,000 donation from someone who first became involved with us eight years ago. She recently shared that she continues to give because she sees the impact our programs have on families in the community."

Notice the difference? The first statement is about money. The second statement is about a relationship. And relationships are something every board member can understand.

The same applies when someone chooses not to give. Many nonprofit leaders take a "no" personally. Most often, donors decline because the opportunity isn't aligned with their priorities or because the timing isn't right. That's not rejection. That's  important information to share.

When we share these conversations, we help board members understand that fundraising isn't about convincing people. It's about discovering alignment.

Even fundraising events tell the same story. Sponsors come through relationships.

Attendees come through relationships. Future donors emerge through relationships.

The money is the result. The relationship is the foundation.

Psychologist Albert Bandura demonstrated through Social Learning Theory that people often adopt behaviors by watching others, especially those they see as leaders or role models.

So before we ask why our board isn't engaging in fundraising, it may be worth asking ourselves:

Are we sending mixed messages about what fundraising really is?

Because boards often learn more from what we model than from what we tell them.

I’d love to know how  you  are showing your board that fundraising is really about relationships?

Let’s Build Better Boards Together

For over 10 years, I’ve been working with both boards and leadership in practical evidence-based strategies to move boards forward and take action to fundraise. I bring neuroscience, quantum physics, as well as, nonprofit and private sector knowledge.

 Feel free to reach out to me to talk about your board Let's Talk  or send me an email at sonia@upliftingnonprofits.com