The Fundraising Sentence to Retire Today

Listen to what you’re saying about your board. This one sentence may be shaping more than you realize—your tone, your leadership, and their response

 “My board won’t fundraise.”

It’s a statement I hear from so many Executive Directors and Development leaders. It’s also the statement that has many of you signing up for my courses.

And I get it. It usually comes from that familiar frustration: “Once again, the board didn’t step up… didn’t make connections… didn’t bring in the money.” That’s real. But is that the whole picture?

Here’s what I want to offer you…and don’t get mad at me—just stay with me for a moment.

That sentence isn’t just describing what’s happening. It’s also shaping how you’re leading. See language isn’t neutral. The words we use quietly guide our actions.

Research shows our brains look for evidence to confirm what we already believe. So, when the story is “they won’t,” guess what we start to notice? The silence. The hesitation. The lack of follow-through.

And without even realizing it…we change. We stop asking as much. We lower expectations. We take on more ourselves. Not because we want to but because our brain has already decided what’s true.

Now let’s try a different sentence, “My board hasn’t learned that fundraising is safe yet.”

Feel that shift? This isn’t about being positive. It’s about being effective. That one word—yet—matters more than we think. Research from Carol Dweck shows that “yet” keeps the brain open. It moves us out of judgment… and into learning. Now instead of a conclusion, you have a question:

What haven’t they learned yet? What would help them feel more confident?

Here’s what’s interesting, language doesn’t stay in your head, it shows up in your body. The words you use shape how you feel. And how you feel shows up in your tone, your facial expressions, your posture.

So when you’re thinking, “they won’t” …Even if you don’t say it out loud…there’s often a subtle edge. A little tension. A little frustration. And people feel that. There’s actual research on this—emotional contagion. We pick up on each other’s energy quickly, often without realizing it.

When you shift to “not yet” … your brain does something different. It moves into problem-solving and your tone softens and your body opens. Your energy becomes more inviting. Your board responds to that. They may not be able to name it…but they feel it.

You move from pressure to structure. From frustration to guidance. From doing it alone to building shared ownership. Because now you’re not reacting to behavior. You’re shaping the conditions that create it and this impacts results.

As you know fundraising is uncomfortable for many board members. Talking about money, reaching out to others, and possibly hearing “no” is risk for them. Research on psychological safety (Amy Edmondson, Harvard) shows people are far more likely to take action when they feel safe to try—not judged if it’s imperfect. That safety starts with you.

Your language isn’t just describing your board. It’s guiding your leadership. And influencing your results. 

This isn’t something you were taught. No one pulls you aside and says, “By the way, the way you think about your board will shape how they respond.” You step into leadership. You’re managing a thousand priorities. You’re trying to raise money, engage your board, keep everything moving. And along the way, a sentence like “My board won’t fundraise” starts to feel like truth. Not because you chose it. But because it kept showing up.

Now that you know different, shift the language, and shift what becomes possible.

Say out loud…“My board won’t fundraise.”

Then say: “My board hasn’t learned how to fundraise yet.”

Notice the difference. One closes the door. The other opens it.

And the next time a board member says, “I didn’t…” Pause. Breathe. And ask: “What haven’t they understood yet?”

That’s where your leadership grows stronger and where your influence deepens, creating a board more open to fundraising. 

Let’s Build Better Boards Together

Because I was once that board member too! Even with a career in sales, fundraising didn’t come naturally to me. That’s why I understand the struggles your board members face—I’ve been there.

For over 10 years, I’ve been teaching clients, working with both boards and leadership, practical evidence-based strategies to move boards forward and take action to fundraise. I bring neuroscience, quantum physics, and both private and nonprofit sector knowledge.

Feel free to reach out to me to talk about your board Let's Talk

Signature Talk: Your Board Can Fundraise. Let Me Show You How“

I recently attended Sonia’s webinar about board engagement and fundraising, it was absolutely one of the best I have ever attended, and I have attended many throughout the years. “

Support Connection